Wrap

I'm the kitchen magician, I'm the kitchen magician.

I'm huggin' and lickin' and kickin' and pickin'.

I'm the kitchen magician, I'm the kitchen magician.

I'm hackin' and packin' and kissin' and pissin' . . .

I wasn't worried 'cause I wasn't worried.

She wasn't worried 'cause she wasn't worried.

Then she was worried.

Now, I'm worried.

Nice turnout for Anthology last night.

Imagine how many more people might have come if I'd had a working phone that people could call for information. (People like to do that.)

Anyway, with the money from last night and the money that's presumably coming for the Michael Jackson piece in a few days, I now have enough that, for the first time since I paid the entry fee to the Fringe in April, I am, inescapably, not penniless. (Regular people would consider my financial circumstances tragic, but for me, this is a time of abundance.)

Regardless, to survive, I still need to live as if I have only 10 pounds to get me through the next couple of weeks. (If that much.) So, at the Sainsbury's counter, when the guy only charged me 34p for a bag of soon-to-expire fruit slices and not 35p for the cinnamon raisin bagel i was in the middle of eating, I got a little angry at myself for alerting him to his error and paying the extra pennies.

I guess when I'm not up against the wall, the essentially honorable me automatically reemerges.

(Oh, well. I had dropped 2 bagels on the floor while getting that one anyway, so in a sense I paid 1 for 3.)

I'm comfortably ensconced in Hipsterland.

It's like being home.

Plus I had 2 onion platzels. (Not pletzels. More on this later.)

Another "Anthology" Tonight

In which comedians tell true stories from their lives.  (Kinda like a living blog of different lives.)

Guests are Sarah Bennetto, Caroline Gold, Charlotte Jo Hanbury, Andrew Watts, Alys Torrance and Elise Harris.

At The Ship, 68 Borough Rd, London, SE1 1DX.

Time: 8:30.  Price: £5 at the door.

See you?

Hey! Is anybody out there a fabulous artist

who wants to do my Edinburgh posters for glory and experience but no money?

I know what I want, design-wise. (I even know someone who'd be perfect to do it but he doesn't want to, so . . . )

Anyway, lemme know via the comment function or however.

Ever needy, ever sure,
Andrew

PS

I'm not sure it doesn't look worse wiped off than it did with a few little marks on it.

And I'm still afraid I'll get in trouble.

I had to wipe something off

a non-essential (clearly) part of a piece of paper 'cause there was dirt of some kind on it.  Now it looks wiped off and I'm afraid I'll get in trouble.

DIdn't see the dirty spot originate but coulda (prob) been from me so thought wiping was prudent.

The perils of being in somebody else's space.

Yes, I am pleased that I got to page 21 or so of my sitcom script

but today was the first day I wasn't essentially happy with what I had.

Made notes for tomorrow that may help.

Is There a Doctor in the House?

If you remember, I was really upset a couple of weeks ago when I thought I'd lost my phone, solely because of the 400 or so pictures that were stored on it with no way, save expensive multimedia messages, to remove them.  (Old phone. No removable cards.)

Of course, I can't afford a new cable to transfer the images and the one I bought recently didn't work,  then broke.  More recently, I had a chance to send some free messages as an 02 reward but not enough (only like 60), plus I got thrown by the cumbersome process, put it off and forgot to try again 'til, um, it was too late.  (I know.)

But guess what!  The other day, simply because I made an e-mail inquiry about something else, 02 offered me a "treat" unavailable to me through regular channels -- free messaging of any kind between 7 and 8pm every day for a month!

God, the times I've gone back after leaving the phone somewhere, wondering if I would ever see my photos again.  I knew I'd likely lose the mobile before I got hold of an effective transfer method.  But  the other day, I sent myself more than 20 images in only about 10 minutes, which means the ability to send myself all 400 within days and after that  take and send new pix!

Yippee!  Yesterday, I started the day by checking my e-mail and deleting from the phone the images I'd already received. Then, at 7pm sharp, the next batch of sending began.

Immediately, the battery went dead.

Well, I've been having trouble starting the phone lately and have been repeatedly telling myself that I should keep it charged so that it never goes off.  (Except for when, sometimes -- even though it still has power -- it goes off on its own.)  But  I hadn't kept it charged.   And the thing that you push to start the phone has been broken for a while.  But I've been taking off the phone's case and pressing the thing that that thing presses to make it start.  (Eliminate the middle man, I always say!)  Anyway, I knew the battery could power regular (free) texts) if not ultra-demanding images.

So, I pushed that inner switch and it came off.

I, uh, guess the images are still inside the phone.  Maybe someone at Nokia can get the thing started for me someday.

And I don't have to worry about losing the phone while out in the world using it, 'cause it can't be used anymore.

But -- hey -- good news!  People seem interested in this Saturday's "Anthology".  I even got a call on Thursday -- the most days before a show that I've ever gotten one -- looking for information about the show.  And someone actually bought a ticket online on Wednesday(!).

Unfortunately, I can't receive calls now.  So, if more people phone to find out about the show, they'll encounter nothing.

Does anybody have a used 02 or unlocked phone I can borrow to put my SIM into?

Your feet really know the Earth.

They make contact with it.  Touch it.  Hug it.

Every day. 

Aware of its true nature. 

There seems to be some kind of understanding there. 

At the very least, tolerance.  (If not accommodation.)

Garlic Chicken Kiev (2 Pieces)

£2.05.  Reduced to £0.51.

Tuna Pasta and Sweetcorn Salad 
£1.34.  Reduced to £0.34

Pastrami and Emmental Sandwich
£2.80.  Reduced to £0.70!

A Miniature Detective Story

It was clear, as I walked along Cellophane Road, that I would have this case wrapped up in no time.

The empty coffee cup at McDonald's (with lid)

worked like a charm today. (I'm using the wi-fi now. Anything you want me to tell the cup?)

Did my writing at Starbucks and had a wonderful conversation with a new Jewish mother named Sarah as well as one with a drama teacher who wanted to know about the "play" I was writing. (They were both, at different times, residents of the table behind me.)

I was a model of confident erudition as I explained my "process" and intent to the teacher.

And a big-headed baby in a stroller smiled at me broadly. And -- oh, yeah -- after the drama teacher thanked me and said goodbye, I -- satisfied or maybe self-satisfied -- turned and spilled my drink onto both myself and the floor.

Was glad I hadn't gotten any on the computer. Then I did. (Only a little, though. Phew.)

I'm at almost at page 17 of my opus. And I'm not certain it isn't any good.

For those following the footwear saga, I'm still wearing the old shoes. (If they can still be called that.)

My happiness

at having accessed the free McD's wi-fi while plugged into the free Starbucks electrical current  next door was relatively short-lived.    The perfection didn't last and I find myself back in the land of fries doing the web thang. 

And when the battery fades, I will go next door and plug back in again.

Kept my coffee cup from my first time in the McDonald's and it have next to me so they don't bother me but I'm not being piggy -- I'm sitting at the counter.

I'm on page 5 of the script.  Unfortunately, the amount of time i can work is s limited by Starbucks 7-ish closing time -- since the have the (AC) power -- rather than McDonald's 1:30am-ish close.

Not only have i actually started writing,

I found a McDonald's and a Starbucks that are right next to each other!

There's not even a Starbucks around here

and there's a paucity of McDonald's. 

Too funky in these parts.

That means I have to travel with my laptop in an inappropriate bag, as my laptop bag is filled with clothes and stuff.

And take the free bus, I guess.  To somewhere with the right burger/coffee proximity quotient.

Can't.walk.  'Cause of shoes.

But finally gonna get new ones today.  Ca. £5.

Maybe mere hours too late, though, as I think there may be a little piece of glass that pierced the soft area at the inner bottom of my right little toe.

Something seems to be in there.  Hope it doesn't travel to my heart and kill me.

Am I going to write the first

script of this (version of) this project today.  Start it, even?

Logistics are tough.  Gotta do it outside.

Battery runs less than 30 min on the crumbling laptop.  (Think it was made by my shoemaker.)  Gotta go somewhere where I don't have to pay for wi-fi and can use the free wi-fi without buying much of anything.

Maybe McDonald's (where I might buy a coffee) for wi-fi, then Starbucks (without buying anything) for power charge/offline work, then back to McDonald's to connect to the world once more through its wireless arches.

Yes, there's a lot to blame things on if I don't do this today.

Even though I might avoid the work under the best of circumstances.

Had the deteriorating shoes for so long now

that I'm remembering the sensations and effects from when this used to be a more common occurrence.

Kinda don't wanna replace 'em yet 'cause there's a lot to be gleaned.

I was really thinking about

the "as long as you have your health" thing yesterday because I felt, physically and perhaps otherwise, extremely bad in the late afternoon; broken, even.  Back pain, soul pain, every kind of pain.  And weakness.

Then I ate a marked-down 45p steak pie from Morrisons and . . .  I felt better. 

I was just hungry.

So hungry I didn't realize the woman was marking down items even further when I bought my pie.  Probably could've had it for like 20p cheaper.

And it bothered me.

A lot.

I had regained my health!